I went for a work-trip recently to Singapore for 2 weeks and came back right on time for Christmas. Perhaps it was the pressure and tension from the economy that got on to me. I came home having these unexplained gloomy and sad feelings about life and about my experiences in 2008. Being a child of God, I recognized the need to ‘get-rid’ of the dark cloud over me, but I strived and struggled, couldn’t do it with my own strength. I didn’t share with my accountability partner, being deceived into thinking that the ‘feelings’ will go away naturally. It didn’t get better and I was having this naggy feeling of reluctance to go for watchnight service on New Year Eve as I couldn’t lift myself up. Wanted to sleep over it and hopefully get through the year waking up in great feelings about 2009. We all do fall into such deception, don’t we?
I had an half an hour nap and when the clock struck 9pm, there’s a very strong ‘calling’ in my heart and I wanted to be at church badly. I quickly jumped into a hot shower, had a quick bite and rushed to church. Stepped into the auditorium, the crowd overwhelmed me. Slipped into my seat reserved by my beloved cell members, I got myself settled down, resolved to spend my best remaining moments in 2008 with the Lord and His people. It is when I stopped trying so hard that the Lord came through for me. Suddenly, the power of God hit me. I saw faces of people in my life who cares for me and supports me flashed over my mind, one-by-one. I was so overwhelmed and touched by His love. Couldn’t stop crying and thanking the Lord for each one of them.
The Lord went on and whispered to my heart ‘Amy, do you know how much I love you?’ There was a deep divine exchange, where once again the head-knowledge was translated to heart-knowledge.
I was touched by the testimonies of the brothers and sisters who shared that night. It reminded me of many faithful moments of the Lord in my journey:-
His silence support in the form of supportive prayer partners, caring friends, understanding family members, appreciative cell members and growth and positive changes I see in people whom I’m investing my life into etc…
His loud and clear guidance when He steered my direction in all aspects of my life in the year of alignment….His constant urge in my heart and injection of strength and courage to step into the ‘unknowns’ and to cut off the ‘bad and ugly’ part of me…
Most of all, His gentle whisper… His unfailing love….and ever forgiving heart and patience….. and the many ‘God-moment’ that transformed and made me who I am today… I would give anything in the world in exchange of these rich and awesome experiences with the Lord…
I’m glad I went…….I know this one step I walk towards God will see a thousand steps of Him closer to my heart….I will continue to walk to Him……
I look forward in great expectancy and excitement towards year 2009! Like a blank sheet of paper awaiting the author to chart and write....with God being my inspiration, i know I can write it well....!!!
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