What consume you?

Yes, that's the topic for our ladies discussion group tonight...

I'm not going to share what was being discussed or shared by these lovely ladies tonight... but just my own reflection and thoughts about this question...

I thought about it for very long time during my sickness this time round.... I had one day practically 'paralysed' - lying on the bed without the strength to do anything. It 'forced' me to face the reality that I had been 'cheating' myself into thinking I can still cope very well and I'm still managing my time pretty well (though I did not compromise my service to God; caring and investing into people's lives).... I have to finally come face to face with the physical limitation that I have - that the 5-6 hrs per day continously is not getting me anywhere though i'm enjoying the busyness, learning a lot and still running around spending time with people; preparing special surprises for mum's birthday; doing my writing for the church etc...

Even though at the back of my mind, I kinda feeling 'tired' but I thought I could do it and sustain till the project stabilises in June/July.... the 'sickness-warning' aside, little did I know that I have also been depriving myself so much so much.... just last sunday, I decided not to do ANY work AT ALL and just relax and rest for the day... I took out a few books from the shelf to read, to find some inspiration on my writing about 'leadership'....gosh, the feeling is SO NICE SO NICE! I can't recall when was the last time that I have that luxury of resting and unhurriedly do something that I really enjoy...

I really need to have a break, have a holiday....I can't wait to go Sabah for a short holiday, just sit by the beach or island and read my book and reflect.....or sit at the jetty and have a sip on red wine....

Or maybe I should just go on a short 'retreat' for now........