Tired...

Feeling very tired….not physically, but mentally and emotionally…

Just had a really long but good cry…….

It’s been too long that I live my life constantly thinking about others…. I don’t even remember what it means to be ‘selfish’ for a while, let loose and just enjoy myself…. Not that I’m so noble or holy, nor have I been faking it when I care for others, but I guess my ‘tank’ is finally emptied and it made me realize that I was trying too hard to make others feel treasured and loved, but disregarding how I am doing ‘within’…

Confusing? Yes I know…my thoughts are everywhere I don’t even know how to describe the feeling…

Someone once asked me before ‘Amy, what will truly make you happy?’….I remembered telling ‘as long as others are happy….’ I sincerely mean it…..but, naïve? Ya I know! Even though I still believe that is true and speak of what I feel, but there’s a part in me hidden for so long -hungry for love (not relationship la!), but the feeling of wanting to be loved and cared for and not just be expected to care and give and keep giving…

I know God loves me and is by my side…I wish He can take me by my hand for a stroll or give me a nice big warm hug….just needed that now…

I feel like just pausing for a moment, just loving myself….and learning how to pamper myself again…

I need a rest…..