Reality of aging...

I guess the REAL reason why i'm blogging is that I'd like to freeze some precious moments of my life, capture it and pen them down so that I won't forget about them. I'd like to capture all my thoughts, all the memories I have with the people whom I love dearly…

Recently, i've been a bit affected by comments of my parents and their outlook and attitude towards life. I guess age is catching up, they are taking lots of health food, supplements etc...and occasionally they complained about little sickness here and there over the body. Sometimes I look at them, they look so much older than before. Reality hit, like it or not, we are confronted with the limitation of our physical body. Even I am feeling it, that I've lost some stamina, not as active and energetic as before, what more my parents, who are now in their 50-60s.

I really don't like seeing them old everyday (* not that they are very old and having major health problem or anything now, in fact they are still very strong*) but the thought of eventually having to see them grow old and weak pierce my heart and frighten me. I’m so afraid that time seem to pass so fast.

All I can say is that, I am so grateful that they are finally back to my side again (* they've been away overseas for about 7-8 years and recently back for good*). Maybe I’m still very much a ‘daddy and mummy’s girl’, to have them back had certainly gives me more sense of security and belonging in this home, and days are not as lonely anymore. They just have to be at home for me to feel safe n protected. This is my precious ‘home’.

I remembered the day when they touched down, I was so so so nervous. I went to the florist, bought 2 bouquet of flowers, didn’t have time to finish my big ‘welcome home’ cardboard (* literally, don't laugh, I thought it was cool*), and rushed to the airport…when they came out, I just gave them a hug, said welcome back and gave them the flowers. It was not an intense moment, but I know something exchanged in our hearts. As I looked back, I didn’t understand what caused me to do all that and where did I find the ‘guts’ to do it, well, all I know is that ‘they truly mean the world to me’.

Many ask me why I’m not pursuing my career overseas. There are lots of opportunities out there and I’m still single. It’s true. Maybe I will do that in the future. But right now, right here, I know what matters to me the most are my parents.

My friends always tease me that I have ‘curfew’ or I’m such a ‘homely’ person. Sometimes it’s a nice tease to be taken as compliment; while other times they are not so nice to hear, if it come with comments like ‘hey, come on, you’re in your late 20s already!” I just smiled. While at times I do feel restricted genuinely, but most of the time I find spending time with them a pleasure….even if it’s just a brief moment; just a meal together; chauffeur them around or even just a TV session together….

Just yesterday, I rushed back to bring them out for dinner (* though dad was so understanding that he asked me to carry on with my programme if I have any*). Over dinner, they were just commenting that “we should live life as if there is no tomorrow, and …..eat and enjoy food as if this is your last day”. To us as Christians, we are always encouraged to live with sense of urgency and to seize every opportunity to reach out to others as if there’s no tomorrow; but hearing this perspective from them certainly saddens my heart.

To them, it could be a positive remark and attitude, yes, it is. As for me, I am reminded that I need to seize every opportunity to love them more. Think I’ve not been a very good daughter lately, especially with the recent added responsibilities and commitment at work and ministry in church….so guilty of that. But from now on, I will try my very best to give them more….because I really love them….and I want them to know that….not only with my words, but my action.

Friends, for those who still have the privilege of loving and serving your parents, do so, as it is a blessing :)