Emotion...

Didn't know that SCB didn't block the blog website until a colleague told me so. I'm not going to abuse the un-refrained access, but rather, just thought of pening down a few lines while resting during my lunch hour. Suddenly just feel like loosen up a bit, relax and just let my thoughts flows freely through my words...

It's the quarterly peak period again! This time round, it's very different, as I have added responsibility on another big project. The load is heavy, the night shifts are unbearable, but life goes on.... last time I can say, only 1+ week, but not anymore....as the project will run till early Feb09. I've not had such feelings for a long time after my PwC-audit years....but maybe this challenge will do me well as I felt that my life is in transition now, a mindset shift & heart renewal... and I just needed some new 'stuff' out of my normal routine.

I cried last friday during cell out of a heart-felt sharing.... as I reflect back, it's really not about burn-out. It's about me being honest to my feelings & emotions. A lot of people like to say that i'm emotional + too nice + too people-pleasing....frankly speaking, I hate to hear that....it shows how people are quick to judge and not bothered to accept and know the real me.

Yes, I don't deny that I am 'those' to a certain extent, but deep down i know, i'm also a human and a lot of time, I really couldn't be bothered how others think or feel; and I just choose to ignore. I'm serious! Surprise?! It's true.....especially for those that i'm upset with and decide to just 'write-off' and not bother anymore.

Ya, I know, what happens to love your neighbour as yourself right?! Love, doesnt mean I have to like everyone, do I?

I'm just like that - when I do care about how 'one' feel, I will go ALL OUT and that's me! Isn't that what a real friend is for?

And so, I am finding those 'prejudices or judgmental comments' on me more and more unbearable.... well, maybe you say I dont even have to bother about thsoe words!!! Well, yes, except when it comes from someone you care/ love/ treasure....Don't we just care about how the people dear to us think or feel or say.

I don't know why i'm writing all these.....perhaps that's the hidden words at one corner of my heart that I am only let it all out through this 'space'......My thoughts are everywhere now....I guess right now, i'm just suffering from severe pain/ hurts coming from people very dear to me... it will take time to heal.....and to trust again.....