Human nature....

We often hear the saying that goes ''ya, it's like that lar, human nature ma'....then we'll just dismiss the thought or sometimes the need to confront others...

I come across this struggle very badly recently as i've met or seen the reality or the true colour of some people at work, which is both very demotivating and disturbing. Not that i'm naive all these while, but it's just I didn't know that i'm so not ready to face or confront that selfishness and ugliness of humanity from people around me. I really couldn't understand why and how someone could just disregard your feelings and just put their interests first, or sometimes worse still, put you on the spot and make things difficult for you.

Too bad i'm not someone who will sit still and 'swallow' all that unfairness or mis-treatment. Call me stubborn, strong-headed or even impulsive sometimes...... there's only to a certain extent that I would tolerate, but once it passes the limit, I often not give in, but be direct and confrontational in voicing out my dissatisfaction or unhappiness. However, before I reach there, the conflict within is intense......dunno whether I am motivated to be a good-christian and thus trying to display some 'Christlikeness' or I am trying so hard to be a christian that will pass the mark. In any case, I often try to convince myself to just do my best in all the work entrusted to me, irregardless of whether there will be 'return' at the end of the day.... it's not easy, but i'm trying everyday.... sometimes I do fail....fail into the trap of Mr. S.A.Tan, becoming resentful and grumpy about the so-called 'human nature' displayed by others.... but I thank the Lord that each time He sends people or even 'devotion' (into my mailbox) to remind me to respond appropriately.... it is a constant struggle.... but I take joy in challenging myself to overcome the 'mountains' one after another.....

Anyway...... to avoid falling into the trap....... I first need to refrain myself from deprive of sleep.... so that I will be ready to face the reality of 'human nature' again tomorrow...